Vows … the Erotic Journal’s prompt for this week …. and Collars and Cuffs, the current Tell Me About prompt, were my writing goals for this week. As I started to write this post, I realized there was a bit of a crossover between the two … or at least for Vows and Collars. Vows being words of promise, love and devotion and Collars in the D/s world, often symbols of the same. In writing this I thought back to all the circumstances in our relationship where words of love and/or symbols of love have been important to us … or sometimes not ….
We had been dating for six months when Frank bought me a ‘promise ring’ … loops of gold forming the word ‘Love’ in cursive script. Until writing this, I hadn’t thought about the ring for years. I think I still have it … I may have to hunt it down and polish it up as I think I would like to wear it again … an old ring given new meaning.
It’s never easy for me to write sentimental words from the heart … I am so not good at it, I often have to do a draft in order to write a special message in a greeting card. Frank is not a word man at all as dyslexia is his burden to bear. So together, special words or symbols to go with words have never been a priority for us.
We got engaged in the Sears parking lot … after happening upon a simple ring set in the mall jewellery store. We’d known almost from the time we first got together than we would be married one day. I didn’t need bended knee or special words to make that happen. Together we just needed something to tell the rest of the world what our next step would be.
When we were dating, the most precious words he spoke were when he walked me to my door every night … he’d put both hands on either side of my face, draw my forehead to him for a kiss and say the words ‘sweet dreams’ … and then ‘I love you’ as he departed.
When we married it was a traditional Anglican Church ceremony … with both of us stressed as crap. Me, due to the potential for family drama, where I was sure something would happen, if not at the church, then afterwards at the reception (nothing happened). Him, just because he was nervous. We’d had to take marriage classes with the minister for several weeks before the ceremony, where, along with other ‘life topics’, there was a review of the vows we would take. In spite of that, I can barely remember a word we spoke other than the memory of Frank getting a bit tongue tied and saying ‘with this wing I thee red’ :>) … when I think back on that little slip, it is with love. He was a sweet, beautiful, handsome man boy … made all the sweeter for his nervousness …
For years, neither of us have worn the wedding rings we put on that day. I can’t remember when I lost the small stone from my wedding set. I subsequently put it away and for a few years, wore my grandmother’s wedding rings. I finally gave that set and my other grandmother’s ring set to our children. I haven’t worn a ring on any finger since. Frank put his wedding ring away early in his career as it was dangerous for him to wear it. He has never worn a ring since either. We don’t even think about them any more.
We do buy each other cards for birthdays and anniversaries – always thoughtful cards, using the words of others to express how we feel. Frank has kept every card I ever gave him and every letter I ever wrote him, including the ones I wrote ‘that summer’ … the one where I left in late July, with our barely 1 yr old child, to stay at my family’s summer home many miles away … I told him I needed time to myself to think about our life and future together. He was so sure I was going to leave him … but I came back … and life went on.
Today we do have some special words and symbols between us, represented with a recently acquired collection of silver jewellery, hand crafted by our favourite silversmith artist. Frank adds to the collection periodically – with both of us visiting her studio to choose the next piece. There is no ritual associated with me wearing any particular piece. However, he will occasionally request I wear one item or another, depending on what we are doing, what I am wearing or his mood. Some of the pieces are engraved with words, again not of our own, but certainly words that resonated with us when we chose the pieces …
My earrings say …
“Let me kiss your secret spot”
“Let me rinse my mouth with your sins”
My double pendant says …
“By the light of moon and hand in hand on the edge of the sand they dreamed”
My choker pendant (the closest thing to a collar we have) simply says …
Old vows are no longer remembered and new vows will never be made.
It is with love I wear the silver that claims me as his ‘Beloved’
I’ve decided to only link up with The Erotic Journal Challenge so as to be able to write for the TMI Collars & Cuffs prompt later this week. To see what others have written about “Vows”, click on the link badge below …