Health,  Kinky Sex Life,  Memes,  Our D/s Life,  That's Life,  Wicked Wednesday

Pissplay of a different sort …

…. the prostate gland ….

Why the anatomy lesson, you ask ….

Fifteen years ago this fall, just one month shy of his 54th birthday, Frank was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Four months later he had a radical prostatectomy. We were, at the time, fortunate enough to be living in an area that had one of the top prostate cancer research centres in the world. Frank was able to access the skill and care of one of the centre’s top surgeons. The early discovery and the low staging of his tumour, meant he was able to come out of the surgery with nerves intact … all of this was life changing but not as life changing as it could have been if it had gone undetected. At his post surgery checkup, the surgeon gave him the advice … ‘use it or lose it’ … advice Frank has taken to heart ever since πŸ˜‰ Fifteen years hence, and we are still fortunate to have a healthy sex life … it is something we work at keeping and do not take for granted …

So some finer details about our prostateless sex life …

We were having a lighthearted subbie conversation at a SafeWord Club ‘munch’ a couple of months back … drool on a pillow became ‘cum’ on a pillow became … well you know … cum everywhere. I responded with “not something I ever have to worry about” … and the conversation went on. Later, our facilitator, Missy, cycled back to my comment … my explanation … no prostate = no ejaculate.

With the ensuing conversation, I realized there might not be common knowledge as to the function and importance of the little walnut sized male gland, tucked between the bladder and penis. Yes, it is capable of giving it’s owner amazing little jolts if rubbed the right way with an anally inserted digit or toy. Yes, it is main focus of the pain in the ass male medical checkup that should happen yearly for any man over 40 (strong hint). However, it’s primary function is to produce the fluid that protects and nourishes the sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate squeezes the fluid into the penile urethra and that, my friends, is ‘cum’ … so no prostate, no cum.

Also, one could also extend that thought to, given no cum, there is no dilemma as to swallow or not swallow … well, in theory yes. However, we discovered early in our post prostatectomy journey, occasionally something does comes out – and it’s something with a vile, nasty, taste …and although colour was clear and odor was nil, we suspected it was urine … so yeah no, for this reason Frank never lets me finish him with my mouth …

Regarding the mechanics of it all, Frank is able to get a hard-on although quite often it doesn’t last all that long and it definitely doesn’t get as hard or as large as it did in his previous life. However, apart from hard-on quality, what he misses most is the sensation that comes with ejaculation.

Last year, post me getting out of the bath, being naked and all … and Frank, as always, being turned on at me being naked and all, had me sit on our little bathroom stool to suck and stroke his cock … and for whatever reason the stroking was especially effective … so much so that he started spurting … piss, of course … but instead of stopping, this time I kept stroking and out came a stronger and stronger spurts … and really, who cared … I was naked, the floor is tiled, we own a mop … and he appeared to be having an amazing orgasm … so I kept going and we just let it happen (by this time I don’t think he had the capability to stop 😁). It was a wow! moment for both of us – to realize, with urine spurting, he’d been able to experience an ejaculatory sensation again. When we were done and cleaned up, he was a bit mortified at the end result, however, I assured him I was not bothered in the least … I was happy for him that he again was able to again experience the full ‘cumming’ feeling ….

So for us … we now have the occasional ‘pissplay’ … our version of pissplay … no humiliation aspect whatsoever … just an amazing ‘cum’ orgasm for my Sir …

… we’ve moved beyond any awkwardness a little pee might cause … however to see what others might have to say about ‘awkward’ situations follow the link or badge to this week’s Wicked Wednesday


  • Mrs Fever

    You’re right: a lot of people don’t understand that lack of a prostate gland equates to lack of ejaculate.

    And you’re also lucky. Not only did your husband benefit from early detection, but he also has the added benefit of retaining nerve sensation. Some men, after having prostate surgery, are no longer able to get an erection. (Or if/when they do, it is a side effect of an overfull bladder and therefore are unable to maintain what tumescence they may initially achieve.)

    With my husband… We’ve been through two prostate biopsies. Luckily there is no cancer — he wouldn’t have qualified for kidney transplant if there had been — but he does have a slightly enlarged prostate. It hasn’t been problematic thus far; I hope it stays that way.

    • Sir Thomas

      Thanks for this post Nora.
      Early detection is so essential. I am now 2 years post radiotherapy. My post “The 39 days” discussed that. I thought I had avoided the impotence side effects, but it seems to have finally caught up with me (“Vale Sir Lust”). I have started an “ED Rehab.” programme. Prostate function is improving now, but erections are ‘soft’ and nerve sensations minimal.
      Sadly I don’t have a helpful partner.
      I hadn’t realised how many didn’t understand the function of the prostate.
      Mind you it took me many years to understand the extent of the clitoral internally and about skeenes glands.

      • Nora

        Hi Sir T … thanks for dropping by and adding your voice to the conversation. I was somewhat surprised that many people don’t know much about the importance of the prostate gland. However, I know we were quite ignorant previous to Frank’s cancer, so I understand how that could be. Thank you also, for the mention of the ‘Skene’s Gland’ … more education for ourselves and others should they pass by here.

        Frank’s urologist’s insistence that he ‘use or lose it’ appears to be a key in maintaining function. I know of others, who’ve had successful surgeries that saved nerves, but ended up with ED because they were not given or were not able to follow that advice and conversely, those who didn’t have nerves saved but were able to regain/maintain function – (see my friend Ella’s comment below). I am happy to hear you have taken up your own ‘physical therapy’ program. I hope it makes a difference for you … nj

        (and PS … the book Ella refers to in her comment is the ‘Intelligent Patient Guide to Prostate Cancer’)

  • Nora

    Yes, Mrs F … he/we were lucky and being ‘in the biz’ as it might be said, we do know of others who have not been so fortunate with their outcomes … and although cancer (kidney) has hit a second time, luck was with us again as it was found rather serendipitously (it’s a cancer also often found too late). He’s just passed recent semi annual kidney blood work with flying colours so … yup … still feeling lucky :>)) … we hope all continues to go well for your man … may luck be with you as well … nj … xx

  • DokjUrtybitz

    Having had surgery to deal with an enlarged prostate some years ago I understand the line ” what he misses most is the sensation that comes with ejaculation”. I miss that too and have always had a hard time explaining that to people. They usually can’t comprehend it. I’m glad that things worked out as well as they have for you (keeping fingers crossed for continued good news healthwise 😊).

    • Nora

      Thanks for dropping by … hopefully my explanation has enlightened some folks out there :>) … sending well wishes for your continued health as well … nj

  • Ella

    *You will probably say “Long time, no see!” Nora, but I am so glad I visited your blog today as your post is especially timely for Sam and I as well. First, though, we are both glad that you and Frank are doing so well! That is always cause for celebration. *Just yesterday was the one year anniversary of Sam’s radical prostatectomy. His cancer was advanced and serious enough that the nerves were taken too. Thanks to advice from you and Frank and other close friends, we went into the surgery very well educated about the possible outcomes both for Sam’s health and for our sex life. *It was a book you recommended that gave us the most pertinent information. It cautioned us not to stop intimacy after the surgery. We could not do much at first, but we were able to continue touch and caress. As soon as the pain lessened enough, I began a campaign of penile stimulation that we laughingly referred to as “physical therapy.” To make a long story short, Sam experienced his first orgasm exactly one month after the surgery. We have continued to make progress all this year. Many thanks, Ella

    • Nora

      Ella! …. long time no see! :>)) … I was hoping you would show up for this post and add your words of wisdom and experience. Yay! … for a one year anniversary and so good to hear you and Sam continue to ‘make progress’. Have fun carrying on with the physio … (wink :>)) … hugs! … nj

  • missy

    This is such an interesting and useful post as I don’t think this is a topic that lots of people know about. I have learnt a lot from chatting with you and reading this and I think that for couples who find themselves in this situation it will be good to have the additional information. Thank you so much for sharing 😊

    • Nora

      I started this post after our conversation, Missy … it being so so many years in the past, I’d forgotten how much self education we had to do at the time. so thank you for the mental jog … nj … xx

  • Marie Rebelle

    This is an amazing and educational post. I had no idea that the prostate was part of the whole cum-making thing, and to be honest, I never ever thought about where cum actually comes from. Thank you for sharing this, and also your kind of pissplay. We are not into pissplay, but I definitely would be if my husband might ever end up in the same position.Rebel xox

    • Nora

      We’re always happy to share our little (mis)adventures πŸ˜‰ … from our prostatectomy travels, Rebel … especially when it’s something that might help others facing a similar road … nj … xx

  • Kristan X

    This is fascinating. I had no idea that no prostate means no ejaculation. Which must be an incredibly frustrating thing to experience – thus I’m so glad you were able to find a stand-in that works for you. It sounds gloriously, amazingly filthy. And liberating.

    • Nora

      Hi Kristan … yes, it was and is all of the above … too bad it took us so long to figure it out … lol! … thanks for dropping by … nj

  • Cara Thereon

    How educational. I think it speaks to the importance of early detection, and how much he’s been able to maintain because of that. Thank you for sharing our lively sex life with us.

    • Nora

      Hi Cara … yes, early detection is a key factor and the treatment options more varied (and less invasive) when detected early. Thanks for dropping by πŸ™‚ … nj

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