Memes,  Our D/s Life,  That's Life

A look back …

When I put out my last post, I almost linked it to Food for Thought Friday’s prompt … A Road Not Taken … since the seeking I talk about in that post has led me down many paths or roads – roads I might not have taken otherwise. However, I decided to do a separate post instead, since the intent of the F4TF prompt is to examine the possible outcomes alternative life decisions might have brought.

I have to say there are very few decisions I can recollect, where I truly regret the outcome or look back and wonder what might have been. I happen to be one of those eternal optimist type people … no I am not always light and sunshine and yes, we have experienced trauma and heartache in our lives. However, I do believe there is a solution for just about any problem, and most importantly, it is my view that we are the sum of our experiences … be they good or be they bad. You take what comes, or choose a path and then deal with what life hands you as a result … it might not always easy but it’s the only way forward.

However, I thought it would be interesting to take a look at the ‘might have beens’ from some of the milestones decisions in my life …

If, as a result of my falling out with my stepmom at barely 18, I had not made the decision to move out of the house, I might have attended university as was the plan at the time. I was intending to become a teacher but instead, I hit the pavement and got an entry level job with the large corporation I made my career with … a corporation that gave me many educational and job opportunities. In my over 30 years with the company, I had a variety of interesting roles, my education was funded and I ended career in a senior management position.

I left Frank to take a ‘break’ in the summer after our first child turned one. I decided to return a month later to give our relationship another go, If I hadn’t, I’m not sure I’d have found another Frank. Our life together hasn’t always been easy but I wouldn’t trade it, or him, for the world.

I do regret not stepping up and being there more for my sister, when she first discovered she had breast cancer at age 28. I made a decision to not talk about the possibility she might not make it as I thought me being pessimistic would have her not fighting the fight positively. She died 3 years later and there were so many words I left unsaid due to me not believing she really would die.

If we had not made the decision, the year after Frank’s first bout with cancer, to take early retirement and move to a small town, we would be much better off financially. We’d have been in a better position to travel and enjoy some of the  luxuries we now see our retired peers enjoying. However, it is my strong belief, if we had not been living in the small town we live in, with it’s more immediate access to the medical system than those who wait in long queues in the city, the outcomes of Frank’s cancer bout number two might have been very different.

If I had not, after pondering it for several days, brought Domestic Discipline to him, we’d still be doing just fine but we wouldn’t have experienced the regeneration this journey brought to our relationship. It has been an amazing couple of years … and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy and content.

That’s just a short sampling of the many decisions I/we have made in our lives …. there have been many more. When I think of roads not taken, it is rarely with a sense of loss or regret. My need to seek has taken me down so many interesting side roads, I rarely ever feel a need to look back and wonder ‘what if? …

… to see what others have to say about roads not taken, follow the links or click on the badge below …



Photo credit Fidel Fernando on Unsplash


  • May More

    An excellent entry for this prompt – I love how you have looked at all your major crossroads. Devastating about your sister. And wonderful that you and Frank made it together.Great to have you on food for thought 😉

  • Ella

    Nora,This was like a little map of your life, and it was good to understand some of the things that brought you and Frank to where you are today. I was surprised that DD was as much a change for you two. On our 25th wedding anniversary, Sam took a huge roll of butcher paper and made a timeline of our life together up until then. He hung it up across the living room wall and all the way down the hallway. It started with the day we met and through 5 years before we were married. There were decisions that changed where and how we were living and the birth of 2 sons. There were hard times and good. But like you say it was DD that made the biggest change in our relationship. I wonder if we could put that on the timeline? Ella

    • Nora

      I love your story of Sam putting up a timeline for your 25th, Ella … definitely need to add DD – it was such a transformational change :>)) … nj … xx

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