Humour,  My DD Blog,  Our D/s Life,  That's Life,  Throwback Thursday

Wintering … and a TBT post …

I’ve been enjoying my initially self imposed blogging hiatus (in preparation for the Christmas madness) which then extended into just plain laziness for the first couple of weeks of the new year. However, if I am going to continue to do this, I have to get back in the saddle or this will be yet another blog of mine stagnating out in Blogland.

The problem is … there isn’t much to write about … the doldrums have descended on the Cawder household. I’ve written about this several times before. It is said doldrums that had me seeking and finding sexual renewal in a ‘new to me’ erotic reading genre in Jan 2017 (and no it was not FSoG), followed by the world of Domestic Discipline in 2018 and then last year, it wasn’t in January, but only a few weeks later that I found the blogging world of D/s practitioners in long term relationships, which took me/us on yet another path.

I don’t think I/we are going to find any major type of renewal this year. However, we do have work to do … my libido, has departed. Our DD/D/s is flagging and lagging … we both recognize it but are a bit stimeyed as to what to do about. Stay tuned while we figure it out …

In the meantime, as previously mentioned, I’ve written about the ebb of our dynamic before (mostly in my Domestic Discipline blog) …. and seeing how it is a Thursday, in the soggy, messy, somewhat snowy southwest corner of Canada … here is a TBT … Throwback Thursday, post from my old blog … a easy way to slide myself back into blogging again …

First … The Stool …

To a man such as mine, one who is without a prostate (or, as we’ve come to realize lately, the same might apply to men in general who are in Frank’s late sixties age bracket), oral sex for him, is pretty much a necessary part of our sex life. He very rarely gets spontaneous erections and if he does, they don’t last long. Yes, there are medications for that but every med he’s tried has side effects, which over time, he has come to realize are more hassle than they are worth. So oral sex it is … at the very least as foreplay.

As a dominant man, he loves the idea of me dropping to my knees in front of him to service him. However, for a couple of reasons, in practical terms it isn’t such a great idea. In the flexibility department, my feet and my hips are not so great. The knees themselves are ok but as a tallish woman and him a shortish man, if I kneel up, my chin is past his belly button. And with joint stiffness, kneeling back on my haunches isn’t sustainable for more than a couple of minutes. So, we have a stool … a perfect little stool we keep in the bathroom that has been in the family for years; a stool that puts me right in the perfect position for taking care of business … his business.

Then … The story …

I had been a bit snippy and snarky and Frank had noticed so he initiated a still in bed, morning ‘chat’. I had a hard time trying to explain what was going on because I’m not sure I even knew what it was or as we talked more over the coming days, it became evident it was more an accumulation of several things.

One is the familiar refrain you’ve heard here before … It gets back to where, to me, everything DD-like ends up being foreplay … mostly because, altho’ I am not, my man is a big ol’ spanko … when he spanks me it turns him on – so when we’re (what feels to me), half way through a what I think is a corrective or disciplinary spanking, all of a sudden he’s on to bigger and better things. Then I end up feeling it’s all about the sex and not about the lifestyle dynamic. This was my first explanation to him.

The second is it’s winter … it’s miserable outside. Frank doesn’t have any outdoor projects to keep him busy so it seems to me that I’ve become his ‘entertainment’ … he’s handsy and flirty and his sex demands are frequent … none of that a bad thing, but geez, sometimes it’s “give me a break!”

Later that morning, after our discussion, we’re up and about, when he comes in for a hug, puts his hands down the back of my pants to fondle my bum and then starts steering me towards the bathroom …

“I want you to suck my cock” … he’s grinning and backing me up through the door to the bathroom and ‘The Stool’ …

I’m going along with it and sit down. He leans up against the vanity and I scoot me and the stool up to him. As I unbuckle his belt and open the button to his jeans, I look up and I remind him our discussion …

“See … we’ve just had a discussion and here we are again … like I said … it’s all about the sex”

“This isn’t about sex”, he replies …

I unzip him and take him out, holding his cock in my hand …

“Really … and how is this (holding it up to make my point) not about sex” …

“Wellll, Bill Clinton says it’s not sex and he’s a former President so he should know” …

… at which point I nearly fell off the stool laughing … and yes, he got his foreplay blow job and the sex that followed …


  • Mrs Fever

    Bill Clinton?!? Egads!

    The stool makes so much sense! I cannot sit/squat/kneel in any kind of comfortable way for any period of time — crickety bones!

    My husband can lay fairly easily between my legs, no neck injuries apparent. I, on the other hand… NOPE.

    Ah, the joys of aging (disgracefully)!

    • Nora

      Ha! … the readers in the blogosphere where I originally posted this are a bit older than those in this community so I did wonder as I ‘rewrote’ this post whether or not the Bill Clinton reference would resonate. However, you have to admit, given the current US political circumstances and given Mr C was the last president to go under the microscope in impeachment proceedings, albeit 22 years ago, it is somewhat relevant … his ‘it wasn’t sex’ defense was priceless … and successful … and I still shake my head …

      And yes, re creaky joints and aging disgracefully … as the saying goes, ‘necessity is the mother of invention’ … lol! … nj … xx

  • PurpleSole

    I think it’s only too normal for it to be a quieter sort of time. It feels more cozy intimate time than kink and whips time of year. Frank’s argument for the Stool made me laugh, I hope the stool does well to keep you connected.

    • Nora

      We’ve definitely been cozy this past week, PS … over a foot of snow had us housebound for a few days. We do love the little stool … handcrafted with love many years ago … little did we know then how it would come to serve in the future … lol! … nj … xx

  • Marie Rebelle

    I burst out laughing when I read what he said about Clinton. Absolutely brilliant.
    Life sometimes seems to take twists and turns we don’t want it to, and sometimes those conversations are just so very necessary!

    Rebel xox

    • Nora

      Hi Rebel … if you ever met F you would not think of him as a funny guy but he makes me laugh almost everyday … and gives me some of the best lines for my more humorous posts :)) … and yes, communications is the name of the game these days … nj … xx

    • Nora

      Thanks, Julie … now if I can just keep it up. Yes, the stool … and other tricks … maybe I need to write a post .. sex aids for seniors … lol! … nj … xx

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